31 August 2006
Playdates - when did this start?
I wonder if this is a change in our cultures over time. When I was little, I was always playing outside with whatever kids seemed to be around. Obviously I may not have recollection of if my parents were involved in meeting other parents first, etc, but it seems like my brother and I were pretty much just given free reign of the neighborhood. We didn't have "playdates", we just "went outside/to Michelle's/etc. to play".
I remember that in grade school, I often called up a friend who lived a block down and others who lived farther away to see if we could get together to play, after asking my parents if I could.
Now, my wife and I live a pretty secluded life. Our friends all live in other towns. We know no one in our current community beyond the "hello, how's it going?" conversations with neighbors. We're both introverted and I work from home, so we just don't meet other people.
I'm wondering if your neighbor is just on another wavelength, more like our parents (though maybe I'm projecting and no one else had the same situation as I when I was younger). Maybe she just sees it as normal to send the kids next door to play.
I can see my introversion is going to be a problem for my son, and I better work on changing it soon. A couple with a 1 year old just moved in next door, and it would be nice to have our son (who is now 2) be able to play with her in another year. The neighbor has invited us over "anytime". We haven't taken her up on it for the same reasons others have stated - we'd rather have someone call before just showing up. I see other families in our neighborhood with kids around his age, too, but we aren't out much in the front of the house to just meet them as they pass by.
Also, my wife and I feel we're just so busy that recreation time really doesn't exist during the week and is mingled with general house duties on the weekend. We don't like the way our house becomes during the week, but we'd rather save cleaning and chores to days when we haven't been overstressed at work.
So we've got to make changes here - to be more open with ourselves, keeping our affairs in order, finding new friends, and encouraging him to make friends. I guess that's why today kids have "playdates" - that's the only way to get them together in the world of hyper-scheduled familes and suburban seclusion.
I remember that in grade school, I often called up a friend who lived a block down and others who lived farther away to see if we could get together to play, after asking my parents if I could.
Now, my wife and I live a pretty secluded life. Our friends all live in other towns. We know no one in our current community beyond the "hello, how's it going?" conversations with neighbors. We're both introverted and I work from home, so we just don't meet other people.
I'm wondering if your neighbor is just on another wavelength, more like our parents (though maybe I'm projecting and no one else had the same situation as I when I was younger). Maybe she just sees it as normal to send the kids next door to play.
I can see my introversion is going to be a problem for my son, and I better work on changing it soon. A couple with a 1 year old just moved in next door, and it would be nice to have our son (who is now 2) be able to play with her in another year. The neighbor has invited us over "anytime". We haven't taken her up on it for the same reasons others have stated - we'd rather have someone call before just showing up. I see other families in our neighborhood with kids around his age, too, but we aren't out much in the front of the house to just meet them as they pass by.
Also, my wife and I feel we're just so busy that recreation time really doesn't exist during the week and is mingled with general house duties on the weekend. We don't like the way our house becomes during the week, but we'd rather save cleaning and chores to days when we haven't been overstressed at work.
So we've got to make changes here - to be more open with ourselves, keeping our affairs in order, finding new friends, and encouraging him to make friends. I guess that's why today kids have "playdates" - that's the only way to get them together in the world of hyper-scheduled familes and suburban seclusion.
