29 November 2006
Making the Best of Day Care
I've found that sometime I feel pretty helpless about our situation. My wife and I have to work to maintain our lifestyle, such as it is. And even though I work at home, we have to send our son to day care in order for me to get work done. It amazes me how many people think that me working at home means I can work AND take care of a 2 year old at the same time. I could get some work done, if I stuck him in front of a TV hours at a time, but I'd rather not do that.
So our son goes to day care and for 8 hours a day he's being raised by one or two other people that aren't my wife and I... aren't even our family. And he's only one of about eight other kids in the classroom. And he doesn't have his toys or books or everything else he likes at home.
Sometimes, if I think about it too long, I start thinking about what we could do to not have to go to day care. The options would be moving (either to where my retired mother lives or to an area with a lower cost of living and a smaller house) or me getting a different job where I'm miraculously paid enough that my wife can stay home. These are always the conclusions I come to, but I still think about them.
In order to make the best of our situation, therefore, I try to take an active role in his daily care. Step one was adjusting my schedule so that he only has to go to day care part time. I have a flexible job, so I can often get enough time in working three days and two nights a week, leaving Fridays open for me to take care of our son. My wife also has a day off during the week, so our son gets to stay home with one of us twice each week.
Our day care is pretty good about trying to encourage parent involvement. In their handbook, they write about dropping in whenever you want (to the class directly, or even just to office to view the class on the video monitors without the teacher knowing. They also list typical special events (Halloween, Christmas, field trips) where parents are welcome to attend.
The facility also has a policy of nightly reports - you get a sheet describing what your child did that day, as well as feeding and changing reports. That way, we can talk to him about what went on, and try to have a conversation so he can share his experiences with us. He's only two, of course, so he doesn't always understand what we're asking about, but he's getting better.
It's also important to talk as much as possible with the day care teacher. Developing a relationship with the teacher really helped me feel like they knew our son well and cared about him. I try to slow myself down each day when I'm whipping through dropping off our son or picking him up, so that I can get at least a few minutes to discuss how he is doing and what, if anything, significant happened that day. The teachers know me well enough now that they don't worry about calling me at work for anything they think I might want to know about him during the day. And they are good about asking what he might need for his unique situations.
That's the biggest advice I have - just communicate with teachers as much as possible. Don't be afraid to ask questions or make suggestions or explain the needs of your child. You have to feel as comfortable with the situation as possible,or you'll be constantly second-guessing yourself and doing more worrying at work than working. The point of day care is not to have someone else care for you child. It's to give you the time to maximize your workday so you can better provide for you child.
So our son goes to day care and for 8 hours a day he's being raised by one or two other people that aren't my wife and I... aren't even our family. And he's only one of about eight other kids in the classroom. And he doesn't have his toys or books or everything else he likes at home.
Sometimes, if I think about it too long, I start thinking about what we could do to not have to go to day care. The options would be moving (either to where my retired mother lives or to an area with a lower cost of living and a smaller house) or me getting a different job where I'm miraculously paid enough that my wife can stay home. These are always the conclusions I come to, but I still think about them.
In order to make the best of our situation, therefore, I try to take an active role in his daily care. Step one was adjusting my schedule so that he only has to go to day care part time. I have a flexible job, so I can often get enough time in working three days and two nights a week, leaving Fridays open for me to take care of our son. My wife also has a day off during the week, so our son gets to stay home with one of us twice each week.
Our day care is pretty good about trying to encourage parent involvement. In their handbook, they write about dropping in whenever you want (to the class directly, or even just to office to view the class on the video monitors without the teacher knowing. They also list typical special events (Halloween, Christmas, field trips) where parents are welcome to attend.
The facility also has a policy of nightly reports - you get a sheet describing what your child did that day, as well as feeding and changing reports. That way, we can talk to him about what went on, and try to have a conversation so he can share his experiences with us. He's only two, of course, so he doesn't always understand what we're asking about, but he's getting better.
It's also important to talk as much as possible with the day care teacher. Developing a relationship with the teacher really helped me feel like they knew our son well and cared about him. I try to slow myself down each day when I'm whipping through dropping off our son or picking him up, so that I can get at least a few minutes to discuss how he is doing and what, if anything, significant happened that day. The teachers know me well enough now that they don't worry about calling me at work for anything they think I might want to know about him during the day. And they are good about asking what he might need for his unique situations.
That's the biggest advice I have - just communicate with teachers as much as possible. Don't be afraid to ask questions or make suggestions or explain the needs of your child. You have to feel as comfortable with the situation as possible,or you'll be constantly second-guessing yourself and doing more worrying at work than working. The point of day care is not to have someone else care for you child. It's to give you the time to maximize your workday so you can better provide for you child.
27 November 2006
Daycare - Finding the right one
Of the many things in the modern American family life that are not ideal, the daycare situation is the toughest for me. For our household, my wife and I must both work full time jobs in order to afford our home, amenities, and lifestyle. And it's not an extravagant lifestyle, but it is a comfortably middle class one.
This puts us in the regrettable position of leaving the care of our son to others for 8 hours a day. If we made more money, we'd think about hiring an in home nanny. But we fall into the category of the majority of the American working class, and send our son to daycare.
Being conscientious first-time parents, we did research on available daycares prior to our son's birth. We called around asking these typical questions:
What are your rates?
Do you provide discounts for half-day care?
Do you offer flexible scheduling?
What is your teacher to child ratio? (This is mandated by state law in Wisconsin, but it's nice to see if (1) they are following the law and (2) if they are possibly exceeding the expectations.)
What is a typical day like? (for infants, toddlers, and pre-schoolers)
What are your teachers' qualifications?
And the all-important: Do you have an enrollment slot available for us on X date?
Because we knew our son would require some special care (he has spina bifida), we needed to explore those options as well and gauge how comfortable, knowledgeable, and prepared they would be for a special needs child.
The we narrowed the field from those phone interviews, and visited our top three possibilities. We omitted a few sites based on information from another couple we knew who were doing their own research. In the end, a lot of our decision was based on a gut feeling. At the day care we chose, the facility was clean and bright with lots of options for learning and play. And we felt good about the teachers and staff we met.
Our process took some time. I hate phone calls, but the day care providers are used to the process as well, and they're running a business, of course. So, for the most part, the calls were painless and informative. The visits, though, are essential as well. I was really put off by a few sites where the nurseries were too sterile and corral-like. Cleanliness is important. But it was also important to me that the infants not be treated like jobs or hassles. At Ben's day care, they really seemed to want to provide for each one's individual needs - even when four were crying at the same time.
Another point to remember - the choice you make now shouldn't have to be the one you live with forever. You're always free to move on if you think a change would be better for your child. Especially consider that in larger daycares your child will move into different "rooms" as they get older. Those transition times are great milestones at which you should take advantage and re-evaulate your child's new surrounds and determine if teh center is still the best fit for your child.
So far, it's been a success for our son. He loves his daycare, and it seems like he's a favorite among the staff. That's made it a little easier for us. We'd still love for him to not have to go, but while he does, we know everything is OK.
I have more thoughts on how to make daycare really work for your family, which I'll try to tackle next time. In the meantime, if you have any comments or suggestions on finding a daycare, please post them in the comments section.
This puts us in the regrettable position of leaving the care of our son to others for 8 hours a day. If we made more money, we'd think about hiring an in home nanny. But we fall into the category of the majority of the American working class, and send our son to daycare.
Being conscientious first-time parents, we did research on available daycares prior to our son's birth. We called around asking these typical questions:
What are your rates?
Do you provide discounts for half-day care?
Do you offer flexible scheduling?
What is your teacher to child ratio? (This is mandated by state law in Wisconsin, but it's nice to see if (1) they are following the law and (2) if they are possibly exceeding the expectations.)
What is a typical day like? (for infants, toddlers, and pre-schoolers)
What are your teachers' qualifications?
And the all-important: Do you have an enrollment slot available for us on X date?
Because we knew our son would require some special care (he has spina bifida), we needed to explore those options as well and gauge how comfortable, knowledgeable, and prepared they would be for a special needs child.
The we narrowed the field from those phone interviews, and visited our top three possibilities. We omitted a few sites based on information from another couple we knew who were doing their own research. In the end, a lot of our decision was based on a gut feeling. At the day care we chose, the facility was clean and bright with lots of options for learning and play. And we felt good about the teachers and staff we met.
Our process took some time. I hate phone calls, but the day care providers are used to the process as well, and they're running a business, of course. So, for the most part, the calls were painless and informative. The visits, though, are essential as well. I was really put off by a few sites where the nurseries were too sterile and corral-like. Cleanliness is important. But it was also important to me that the infants not be treated like jobs or hassles. At Ben's day care, they really seemed to want to provide for each one's individual needs - even when four were crying at the same time.
Another point to remember - the choice you make now shouldn't have to be the one you live with forever. You're always free to move on if you think a change would be better for your child. Especially consider that in larger daycares your child will move into different "rooms" as they get older. Those transition times are great milestones at which you should take advantage and re-evaulate your child's new surrounds and determine if teh center is still the best fit for your child.
So far, it's been a success for our son. He loves his daycare, and it seems like he's a favorite among the staff. That's made it a little easier for us. We'd still love for him to not have to go, but while he does, we know everything is OK.
I have more thoughts on how to make daycare really work for your family, which I'll try to tackle next time. In the meantime, if you have any comments or suggestions on finding a daycare, please post them in the comments section.
13 November 2006
Kids and Money
Via BBspot's daily links, I came across this post at "Get Rich Slowly":
It's a good look at several sources and strategies for helping your child(ren) learn what the money thing is all about.
Now if only someone could teach ME what it's all about!
How and when to communicate money values to children is one of the toughest challenges that parents face. You want to support your children, to shield them from the hardships of life. But without facing the hardships, they won’t appreciate the value of money. And what if your own money skills are poor in the first place?
It's a good look at several sources and strategies for helping your child(ren) learn what the money thing is all about.
Now if only someone could teach ME what it's all about!
