29 November 2006
Making the Best of Day Care
I've found that sometime I feel pretty helpless about our situation. My wife and I have to work to maintain our lifestyle, such as it is. And even though I work at home, we have to send our son to day care in order for me to get work done. It amazes me how many people think that me working at home means I can work AND take care of a 2 year old at the same time. I could get some work done, if I stuck him in front of a TV hours at a time, but I'd rather not do that.
So our son goes to day care and for 8 hours a day he's being raised by one or two other people that aren't my wife and I... aren't even our family. And he's only one of about eight other kids in the classroom. And he doesn't have his toys or books or everything else he likes at home.
Sometimes, if I think about it too long, I start thinking about what we could do to not have to go to day care. The options would be moving (either to where my retired mother lives or to an area with a lower cost of living and a smaller house) or me getting a different job where I'm miraculously paid enough that my wife can stay home. These are always the conclusions I come to, but I still think about them.
In order to make the best of our situation, therefore, I try to take an active role in his daily care. Step one was adjusting my schedule so that he only has to go to day care part time. I have a flexible job, so I can often get enough time in working three days and two nights a week, leaving Fridays open for me to take care of our son. My wife also has a day off during the week, so our son gets to stay home with one of us twice each week.
Our day care is pretty good about trying to encourage parent involvement. In their handbook, they write about dropping in whenever you want (to the class directly, or even just to office to view the class on the video monitors without the teacher knowing. They also list typical special events (Halloween, Christmas, field trips) where parents are welcome to attend.
The facility also has a policy of nightly reports - you get a sheet describing what your child did that day, as well as feeding and changing reports. That way, we can talk to him about what went on, and try to have a conversation so he can share his experiences with us. He's only two, of course, so he doesn't always understand what we're asking about, but he's getting better.
It's also important to talk as much as possible with the day care teacher. Developing a relationship with the teacher really helped me feel like they knew our son well and cared about him. I try to slow myself down each day when I'm whipping through dropping off our son or picking him up, so that I can get at least a few minutes to discuss how he is doing and what, if anything, significant happened that day. The teachers know me well enough now that they don't worry about calling me at work for anything they think I might want to know about him during the day. And they are good about asking what he might need for his unique situations.
That's the biggest advice I have - just communicate with teachers as much as possible. Don't be afraid to ask questions or make suggestions or explain the needs of your child. You have to feel as comfortable with the situation as possible,or you'll be constantly second-guessing yourself and doing more worrying at work than working. The point of day care is not to have someone else care for you child. It's to give you the time to maximize your workday so you can better provide for you child.
So our son goes to day care and for 8 hours a day he's being raised by one or two other people that aren't my wife and I... aren't even our family. And he's only one of about eight other kids in the classroom. And he doesn't have his toys or books or everything else he likes at home.
Sometimes, if I think about it too long, I start thinking about what we could do to not have to go to day care. The options would be moving (either to where my retired mother lives or to an area with a lower cost of living and a smaller house) or me getting a different job where I'm miraculously paid enough that my wife can stay home. These are always the conclusions I come to, but I still think about them.
In order to make the best of our situation, therefore, I try to take an active role in his daily care. Step one was adjusting my schedule so that he only has to go to day care part time. I have a flexible job, so I can often get enough time in working three days and two nights a week, leaving Fridays open for me to take care of our son. My wife also has a day off during the week, so our son gets to stay home with one of us twice each week.
Our day care is pretty good about trying to encourage parent involvement. In their handbook, they write about dropping in whenever you want (to the class directly, or even just to office to view the class on the video monitors without the teacher knowing. They also list typical special events (Halloween, Christmas, field trips) where parents are welcome to attend.
The facility also has a policy of nightly reports - you get a sheet describing what your child did that day, as well as feeding and changing reports. That way, we can talk to him about what went on, and try to have a conversation so he can share his experiences with us. He's only two, of course, so he doesn't always understand what we're asking about, but he's getting better.
It's also important to talk as much as possible with the day care teacher. Developing a relationship with the teacher really helped me feel like they knew our son well and cared about him. I try to slow myself down each day when I'm whipping through dropping off our son or picking him up, so that I can get at least a few minutes to discuss how he is doing and what, if anything, significant happened that day. The teachers know me well enough now that they don't worry about calling me at work for anything they think I might want to know about him during the day. And they are good about asking what he might need for his unique situations.
That's the biggest advice I have - just communicate with teachers as much as possible. Don't be afraid to ask questions or make suggestions or explain the needs of your child. You have to feel as comfortable with the situation as possible,or you'll be constantly second-guessing yourself and doing more worrying at work than working. The point of day care is not to have someone else care for you child. It's to give you the time to maximize your workday so you can better provide for you child.
